Lately I’ve been waking up thirsty, can’t wait for my morning tea.
\nI’m practically re-boiling the kettle as soon as I’ve drunk the first one.
\nLifeless too.
\nNo matter how much sleep you’ve had, it never feels like its enough.
\nEaly bed, early up, later bed, later up.
\nThere just doesn’t seem to be a winning combination.
\nWhat a super day, we should go out after dinner.
\nI guess we shouldn’t count our chickens.
\nI wish she’d… oh never mind.
\nI’ll never happen anyway.
\nWhy do I keep playing out that conversation in my head?
\nArrgghh!
\nWhy do we do that?
\nWhy are we predisposed to beating ourselves up?
\nI always thought somewhere we’d sensed that we hadn’t performed well, could do better.
\nNow I’m not sure.<\/p>\n
Today I discovered one of my oldest friends had died.
\nDespite years of doing this job,
\ntelling people their loved ones have passed away,
\nit always hits me hard.
\nYou sit for a while pondering what to say,
\nbut what can you say?
\nWhat words can I use that’ll lessen the shock?
\nI might as well slam a baseball bat into their stomach,
\nit’ll feel no different.
\nWatching them crumple up tells you how they’ll handle it long term.
\nSome don’t show their feelings.
\nThey look away, nod, thank you for telling them.
\nThey’re the worst.
\nYou know inside they’ll burst.
\nIf they bottle it up, refuse to acknowledge it – one day it’ll catch up with them.
\nBang.
\nRevenge?
\nBlame?
\nMost often there’s no one to blame, no revenge to be taken.
\nSometimes they vent their frustration at us.
\nI used to let them rage at me, now I won’t tolerate it.
\nIf a crime had been committed, which led to the death
\nnever promise to catch the villain who did it.
\nBig mistake, huge.
\nThey’ll cling onto that promise like barnacles on a ship.
\nUnless you deliver them justice, they’ll keep snapping at your heels.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
Lately I’ve been waking up thirsty, can’t wait for my morning tea. I’m practically re-boiling the kettle as soon as I’ve drunk the first one. Lifeless too. No matter how much sleep you’ve had, it never feels like its enough. Ealy bed, early up, later bed, later up. There just doesn’t seem to be a […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-103","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-uncategorised"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/chatter.sh-dev.co.uk\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/103","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/chatter.sh-dev.co.uk\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/chatter.sh-dev.co.uk\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/chatter.sh-dev.co.uk\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/chatter.sh-dev.co.uk\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=103"}],"version-history":[{"count":5,"href":"https:\/\/chatter.sh-dev.co.uk\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/103\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":248,"href":"https:\/\/chatter.sh-dev.co.uk\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/103\/revisions\/248"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/chatter.sh-dev.co.uk\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=103"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/chatter.sh-dev.co.uk\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=103"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/chatter.sh-dev.co.uk\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=103"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}